Fucking Music.
No, I am not talking about music to which you would like to fuck. I am speaking of music that has been tainted by past loves & relationships, friendships gone awry, overplay at work, etc. There are dozens (possibly over 100) of songs that immediately invoke memories of my ex-boyfriend, Gavin. No longer will I be able to enjoy these tunes in the way that I was once capable. I have attempted to reclaim them. I have been unsuccessful in this endeavor.
This feeling of utter sadness washes over me the moment I hear certain notes come together. Sometimes it starts at first note of a song; other times it will occur in the middle of the second verse. This can happen at home or in my car or at work; it’s really all the same; the feeling that is.
I miss Gavin. I wonder what it would be like if we were still together. I question what he is doing and who he is sleeping with and what music he is loving every time I hear one of the dozens of songs that bring him to mind.
Our relationship in incapable of mending. It is probably best that way. But, until I find love or an incredible passion, I will miss him and in my mind, he will continue to ruin perfectly wonderful songs.
